What happened to the old days when men used to court their women?  You know, invite them to a ball and wait anxiously to hear an answer as to whether they accept or not.  And if they do, you almost expected to marry after that.  What happened to those days when girls had morals and guys had manners?  Those days are gone thanks to our new fast-lane style of living.  Theres no time to meet, swoon, entice, or date a woman anymore.  Now its meet at bar, get all the important stats and hopefully you are compatible enough to spend the night together.  What happens from there is anyones guess. 

            I wish I lived back in the old days, when romance was romance and not so much of a competition.  When you go out to a bar these days its like you are a used car on a used car lot trying to look your best for a potential buyer.  You act different, smile more, and try to make funny jokes, try to be clever, just to meet a woman that might be right for you.  Back then you knew the woman well enough before you even went out with her for the first whether you were right for each other or not.  You researched her in a sweet, non-stalker sort of way.  

            Im just sick of competing in this stupid competition for love.  I have my heart to offer, its not for sale; it doesnt need to be advertised, and I wont try to give it away to a pretty face in hip hugger jeans.  There should just be a catalog for these people.  That way they can give the vital stats that get asked over and over again in the meat markets we call clubs and bars.  It would read something like this: 

                        Mike Jones

                        22 years old

                        Went to community college for 2 years, but planning on going back to be an astronaut. 

                        Just got out of a bad relationship and not looking for anythingunless you want to try to soothe my heartache.  Well do you?

                        Just looking for a nice girl because all the other girls I met have been so fake.  You are so different. 

                        I would like to take you out on a date sometime = I would like to have sex you and tell my friends about it.  

            This way you dont have to waste time doing your hair and getting dressed up.  You can just sit at your house, maybe at the coffee table, get a couple of beers, put some techno music on and look through the catalog.  Its much easier, cause lets face it, you care to know as much about them as much they care to know about you. 

            This is not for me.  I will not meet my girl at a club trying to sell myself, make myself look better than other guys.  If shes looking for a suitor that wears Armani shirts and drinks imported beer than she can have her pick.  I have too much to offer to be reduced to something so superficial.  So how would I prefer to meet a woman?  I dont really know, I guess thats the whole spontaneous fate kind of thing.  You never know where you are going to meet the person of your dreams.  Its like this; say you are looking and looking and looking for a four-leaf clover, you have searched all the green fields you can find from here to Sarasota.  But just where you least expect it, when you stop looking all of a sudden you find the clover stuck to the bottom of your Starbucks double espresso.  Let me clear up this analogy.  What Im saying is that you go to these bars and clubs (green fields) looking for that special someone (the four leaf clover) only to find that the person you are truly compatible with is the person (clover again) who put a ding in your door at the Supermarket (coffee cup). 

            Love has to be either more thought out, or more spontaneous.  You either have to work harder to get the girl to like you, such as in the olden days, when you would juggle oranges outside a womans window whom you were courting, or bring her flowers, or offer yourself as a chaperone to her mother when she goes to town.  Or you have to not try to meet someone at a singles fest. 

            Am I wrong to think this way because every twenty-something male and female go to singles bars to meet a potential mate?  Sure.  Do I think that maybe I should just reduce myself to the regular rat race scene and try to stick my chest out and scare other males away from my target?  Bullshit.  Thats not for me.  If thats the way it has to be, if the girl or I have to be alcohol induced to like each other, than I would rather be single.

            Why dont girls like to be romanced anymore???  Do they think that it just doesnt happen anymore?  Are they satisfied with the answer chivalry is dead?  They shouldnt be.  One of my favorite things is to be with a woman and treat her like she is the most important and special woman in the world.  Maybe girls dont like this kind of stuff anymore.  Call me old fashioned, chivalry is not dead to me, the right girl will appreciate what I am doing, and more importantly what Im not doing.   

Ryan Dean

July 12, 2002.